Mommy zombie

So we often call Ocoee mommy zombie because she wants to be held, and most often by mommy, all the time! She sits with daddy for dinner in his lap, not her high chair most dinners. If I am up and walking around doing stuff in the house, she will demand to be picked up. She will cry.

And cry.

I have tried to let her cry it out......ugh, it gets too much and I pick her up. I know I am reinforcing the behavior but I can't handle a crying baby when I have 10 minutes to do a dozen things and I know to just pick her up she will stop.

We have several alternatives we try. I pass her to hubby because she will not cry most of the time when he sits her down. I try to kneel and hug her but not pick her up.....very rarely does this fool her.

The core issue is she wants to be part of the action. If I am sitting in a chair or on the couch she is plenty happy to go off and explore because mommy isn't doing anything cool.

I have become her favorite toy.

Hubby has said I deep down like it....and sometime it is true but really it stresses me a lot, since it is hard to get things done.... and I want her to be happy and a part of the action. I tried using the ergo but that didn't work that well.

So grandma has purchased a tool I hope will help. It is the mommy kitchen helper stand. I think this will allow Ocoee to be a part of the action and allow me to get some things done without dangerously propping her on the counter when my arms are too full and too tired. Who needs an arm work out these days?

The biggest issue is that I love her so and want what is best for her....I vacillate between thinking I am spoiling her and this is awful and she needs me and this is a phase that will pass, and I should hold her while I can.

Any advice!

I work so hard to have a close bond but I want her to be independent too.....such a struggle.

Cheers
J